Image: via AP

Brett Kavanaugh, a 53-year-old man whose family health history I’m in the process of researching, is President Trump’s pick to fill useless sellout Anthony Kennedy’s SCOTUS seat.

Kavanaugh, a federal appeals judge on the DC Circuit appointed by President George W. Bush, beat out fellow Bachelorette hopefuls Amy Coney Barrett, Thomas Hardiman, and Raymond Kethledge. Trump announced the pick at 9 p.m. Monday night, with slightly less pomp and circumstance than he offered Neil Gorsuch last year. “Tonight, it is my honor and privilege to announce that I will nominate Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the United States Supreme Court,” he beamed.

Kavanaugh, who is Catholic, is decidedly conservative, and considering that on the campaign trail Trump vowed to pick judges who’d overturn Roe v. Wade, it’s likely Kavanaugh will rule against abortion rights if given the chance. According to Reuters, last fall Kavanaugh was one of a panel of judges who attempted to prevent an undocumented immigrant teenager detained by United States authorities from traveling to obtain an abortion. That attempt was quickly overturned by the full appeals court, but it doesn’t seem promising, especially since Kavanaugh issued a dissenting opinion claiming the full appeal’s court decision offered “a new right for unlawful immigrant minors in U.S. government detention to obtain immediate abortion on demand.”

Kavanaugh has also ruled in favor of religious groups that challenged the Obamacare requirement that birth control be covered by insurance, and in favor of an anti-abortion protester arrested outside the Liberty Bell in 2010. Look, it’s not as if we were getting any good news.

Meanwhile, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer says Kavanaugh’s nomination has “put reproductive rights and freedoms and health care protections for millions of Americans on the chopping block,” and I’m sure his strongly worded response will have sway with all the Republicans who’ve been arching his jelloid spine for months.

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Anyway, the New York Times has already published an op-ed on the “Liberal’s Case for Brett Kavanaugh,” which opens thus:

The nomination of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to be the next Supreme Court justice is President Trump’s finest hour, his classiest move. Last week the president promised to select “someone with impeccable credentials, great intellect, unbiased judgment, and deep reverence for the laws and Constitution of the United States.” In picking Judge Kavanaugh, he has done just that.

And then:

This would be a mistake. Judge Kavanaugh is, again, a superb nominee. So I propose that the Democrats offer the following compromise: Each Senate Democrat will pledge either to vote yes for Judge Kavanaugh’s confirmation — or, if voting no, to first publicly name at least two clearly better candidates whom a Republican president might realistically have nominated instead (not an easy task). In exchange for this act of good will, Democrats will insist that Judge Kavanaugh answer all fair questions at his confirmation hearing.

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Folks, it’s a war. Pick a side.