Congrats to Ben Carson, New President of Christian America

Illustration for article titled Congrats to Ben Carson, New President of Christian America

Ben Carson materialized at CPAC late Friday afternoon, where he announced he’s suspending his presidential campaign. He also announced that he, like many Americans, has a new job, as national chairman of a nonprofit called My Faith Votes, aimed at inspiring Christians to vote. Politico first reported yesterday that Carson would join the organization.


After spending like 20 minutes talking about other things (the government is too big, Bernie Sanders is wrong), Carson got to the point: “I am leaving the campaign trail,” he said.

“Aww,” said a couple people in the crowd.

“Yeah...” Carson replied. He got a polite standing ovation.

“I’ll be involved in a lot of different things,” he added, “including My Faith Votes, which is an organization that is going to try to help the faith community recognize how important their vote is.” He then immediately changed the subject and started talking about Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals, because Ben Carson is a curious dude with unique conversational patterns.


Carson’s most-repeated story on the campaign trail was about trying to stab a guy when he was 14, a story which may or may not have been true. We will miss him, his gentle-verging-on-unconscious manner, and, most importantly, his wife Candy’s stirring rendition of the national anthem.

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Gerald Wallens listens as Carson speaks at the National Religious Broadcasters convention Friday, Feb. 26, 2016, in Nashville, Tenn. Wallens is dressed in costume to promote United Cry, an organization attempting to get 30,000 Christian leaders and pastors to gather at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington on April 9, 2016. Or else he’s incognito Jesus. Photo via AP Images

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Meyer Lansky Sqarrs

Separation of church and state, asshole.

It’s in the Bible. Try actually reading it for once, for fuck’s sake.