Chris Christie Clarifies That He Is Not Currently 'Being Held Hostage' By Donald Trump

Illustration for article titled Chris Christie Clarifies That He Is Not Currently Being Held Hostage By Donald Trump

In a New Jersey press conference on Thursday, Gov. Chris Christie revealed that contrary to reports, he is not being held hostage by Donald Trump. It is not known whether he was blinking rapidly when he made this statement, or drawing “H-E-L-P” in the air with his hands.


Via Talking Points Memo:

“No, I wasn’t being held hostage,” Christie said at a press conference in New Jersey. “I wasn’t upset. I wasn’t angry.”

The governor explained that because it was a press conference, not a rally, he did not think it would be “appropriate” for him to smile, cheer and clap.

“This is part of the hysteria of the people who oppose my Trump endorsement,” Christie said.


“No, I wasn’t sitting up there thinking, ‘Oh my God, what have I done?’” he reportedly said. “I understand everybody had a lot of fun with it. It doesn’t matter to me.”

Christie, who last week flung the remaining bloody scraps of his political ambitions into a highly publicized endorsement of Donald Trump, is pretty sure that everyone questioning his decision to use taxpayer dollars to fly around making speeches on behalf of a deflated orange balloon is a jealous hater.

When asked about the New Jersey newspapers who called on Christie to resign over his support for Trump and time spent away from the state on the campaign trail, the governor said he was not shocked.

“They are trying to find some way to be relevant,” he said of the newspapers, which he said are seeing a decline in revenue.


Christie said during the press conference that he is not a “full-time surrogate for Trump,” but simply an endorser.

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Image via Associated Press.

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can you imagine being the PR person for chris christie who has to walk into a room and say

“sir, well, you’ve become a meme. again. no, not the cameltoe again. yes, they think you were being held hostage by trump. yes sir, i understand that you are not a hostage. i cannot confirm they have combined this meme with the cameltoe but it is probably out there somewhere. no sir, new jersey has not forgotten that you are their governor. yup, they are still planning on striking. no, i can’t go get you a chicken parm that isn’t my job. no, bruce still hasn’t called. should i draft a press release about this transit thing? no? but isn’t that your jo—oh, nevermind. fuck you i quit.”