
Carly Fiorina, a moderately bad person who dropped out of the Republican presidential race in early February, announced Wednesday that sheâs endorsing Ted Cruz, who is probably not the Zodiac Killer. What a match made in whatever afterlife you go to when you make a lot of compromises in life!
Fiorina announced the endorsement during a rally in Miami, telling the crowd sheâs âhorrifiedâ by Donald Trump. This is nowhere near as excruciatingly uncomfortable as watching Chris Christie glumly endorse Donald Trump, itâs still kind of gross, because, well, here she is two months ago, arguing that Cruz will say âwhateverâ to get elected.
From Raw Story:
So, okey doke! Hereâs the email Carly just sent out to her supporters, in which you can practically feel the smile-through-gritted-teeth sheâs baring at everyone who asks how sheâs doing:
Ted Cruz is a true constitutional conservative. A real reformer, and a strong leader. And he can and will unite our party, and fix the festering problems in Washingtonâwhether itâs our broken immigration system or the IRS. Ted Cruz is that conservative.
And hereâs something Iâve learned throughout my career: if you are a real leader, you absolutely must challenge the status quo. And when you challenge the status quo, you make enemies. Itâs the price of leadership. And that price is one too many people arenât willing to pay, and so they donât lead.
Ted Cruz has made enemies by taking on the political class. Theyâre scared we found our guy.
I ran for President because I believe it is time to take our country backâand I still believe that. I still believe we need a candidate who will stand for conservative principles. A nominee who will never settle for the status quo, and who will unite us as Republicans.
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Itâs deeply unclear who the âpolitical classâ is if not Ted Cruz, a current U.S. senator who was previously the solicitor general of Texas, but, OK Carly. This probably isnât a fun day so weâll go ahead and give you this one.
Contact the author at anna.merlan@jezebel.com.
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Hahha yes, everything is great, I am so happy to be here: Carly Fiorina in Miami with Ted Cruz, March 9, 2016. Photo via AP Images
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