Brett Kavanaugh Says He's 'Optimistic About the Future of America,' Which… Can't Relate!

Stepping in bear trap. Bad? Not anymore! For you see…

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

Krampus in human drag Brett Kavanaugh closed his Supreme Court confirmation hearing by saying he’s “optimistic about the future of America,” which makes one of us. “If confirmed to the Supreme Court, I will keep an open mind in every case. I will do equal right to the poor and to the rich. I will always strive to preserve the Constitution of the United States and the American Rule of law.” [New Republic reporter Matt Ford’s Twitter]
A five-year-old detained at the border nearly died in custody. [Intercept]
New York gubernatorial candidate Cynthia Nixon did some cheeky promo with John Early, who can’t think of her as anyone but Miranda. Love John Early, love Cynthia Nixon, but from political candidates in 2018, probably did’t need this! [Indiewire]
This corporate lawyer and “liberal feminist” supports Kavanaugh, and wrote an op-ed about it. En…joy. [Politico]
Guns, kids, more absurdity. [Bloomberg]
Kathy Griffin @’ed Tammy! [Twitter]
Bob Woodward’s new book about Trump features a lot of Trump Admin people talking shit about Trump, unsurprisingly. [Washington Post]