Beto O'Rourke Will Not Go to Prom With You

Beto O’Rourke, alleged former punk and current Democratic candidate for president, is a man that many people really like a lot. Perhaps it’s his height, his smile, his way of saying the names of various seasonings, his tendency to stand on tables, his complicity in a developer’s scheme to gentrify El Paso in the 2000s, or his skate videos. Whatever it is, a bold teen Beto fan decided to do something about it.


During a town hall event on Thursday in Sioux City, Iowa, a young woman said to O’Rourke: “Uh, it’s okay if you say no, but will you go to prom with me?”

She held a big, hand-painted sign asking the same question again for good measure.

“First of all, as someone who did not go to prom because no one asked me, I’m really touched,” O’Rourke said. “This means more than you know.”

O’Rourke continued: “Somebody told me about your sign, so we came up with a counter proposal.” He then held up a makeshift sign from a manilla folder that read, “Will you caucus for me?”

She said yes.

According to CNN reporter DJ Judd, the young woman was a little bummed out that O’Rourke wouldn’t go to prom with her. At least O’Rourke signed her promposal sign?

I can understand her disappointment, but this is honestly the right choice for a man in his 40s to make when asked to a high school prom. Nice job, Beto.

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.



I’ve got nothing against Beto himself, but the coverage of him rubs me the wrong way.  For example, I was listening to a political roundtable on my local public radio station, and they were all like, “Beto’s got this electricity. He’s an intellectual everyman!” and, by comparison, Elizabeth Warren’s calls to small donors were like “getting a call from Granny” and she was, “too professorial. She needs to break out of that.”

To summarize - Beto is an “intellectual everyman” and Elizabeth Warren, who grew up working class in Oklahoma and became a professor at Harvard Law School and public intellectual on topics relating to working families, is not? She’s too “professorial”?

And by that point, I’m yelling to no one in my car, “We get it! You don’t like older women! Thank you for the clarification!”