Bernie Sanders Loves His Namesake Ice Cream! Mmmm!

Today on The View—oh, I’m sorry, the POLITICAL View, as the show becomes rebranded whenever it addresses POLITICS—the hosts invited Bernie Sanders to try “Bernie’s Yearning,” the limited edition ice cream made by Vermont ice cream atelier Ben & Jerry’s. And, god, he loved it! Did he ever love it. Mmmm!

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After thoughtfully ensuring that Sanders is not lactose intolerant, Raven-Symoné hands him a spoon and lets him dig in. He begins with a bite of the chocolate that forms a disc atop the ice cream, which “represents the huge majority of economic gains that have gone to the top 1% since the end of the recession,” according to the box. Bernie Sanders actually took a bite out of the one percent—the symbolism is delicious. Literally!

Next Sanders takes a bite of the ice cream and loudly—perhaps a bit too loudly—exclaims, “Mmmmm!” Ben & Jerry no doubt released a collective sigh of relief in a maple tree forest somewhere, because it would really suck if your favored presidential candidate hated the food you made for his campaign. “It’s really good!” declared Sanders. It better be! It’s just mint! Mint ice cream. “Excellent! Really good! I’m not just saying that cause it’s Bernie’s Yearning,” Sanders assures us. “It’s really good!”

Of course, this is The POLITICAL View, so it’s not just all fun and games and ice cream tastings out here. The hosts also had some important questions for Sanders, such as gun control, mass incarceration of blacks and Latinos, education, Wall Street, and Flint, which Sanders calls “one of the great public health crises of our time” and “an unspeakable tragedy.” Then Candace Cameron (she’s on The View?!) asks Sanders to say one nice thing about each of the GOP candidates, and they all gather ‘round to shoot some hoops. Just another typical day on the morning talk shows!


Contact the author at julianne@jezebel.com.

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Then, after shooting some hoops, the hosts took off their skin costumes and masks. Underneath, with their tentacles free, they looked much larger and menacing than normal. Hundreds of shiny, silver teeth glittered under the hot lights of the studio, and the gel-like substance that coats the majority of their bodies dripped into blue piles on the stage. “Now we try you!” They bellowed. “Mmmm you will be delicious, you mint flavored treat!” They cried in one unsettling voice.

The audience, titillated by the impending feeding frenzy, roared with satisfaction and cheered. Bernie cowered and screamed for his life.

Unfortunately though as their tongues (long as children’s bicycles) reached out to pull him into their mouths, they ran out of time and had to go to commercial break. They moaned in anger and frustration as the screen faded to an Activia logo.

Afterwards, they had a lovely segment with Rachel Ray showing them how to cook a healthy version of lasagna. Hint: it uses zucchini!!