Be Best Is Finished After Attaining Its Goal of Informing Every American to Be Best

Illustration for article titled Be Best Is Finished After Attaining Its Goal of Informing Every American to Be Best
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Four long years of absolute hell have led to the end of many things, but none as successful as this: Be Best, Melania Trump’s misguided attempt at promoting both wellness and anti-bullying, has come to a close. Every American who has heard her rallying cry has absorbed this information thusly and is moving about their day. We’re best. Can’t you see? We’re the best.

Melania announced the end of this initiative via a video that I have watched at least twice to figure out what Be Best was supposed to teach anyone. Unfortunately, I have arrived at no real conclusion other than the American people now know that they are supposed to be best without any clear demonstration of how we would achieve that goal. Personally, I’ve tried to be best everyday, but extenuating circumstances exacerbated by her husband’s incompetence have made it difficult to do so!

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The inspirations Melania cites includes “compassion” which is rich coming from a woman who wore a jacket expressing disdain for children detained at the border, and told her best friend on the telephone that she hates Christmas. All the various achievements she’s listed in this video, featuring children that I think are from central casting, are dubious if only because we never heard about anything this initiative actually did. That is because the initiative didn’t do anything! What I know now is the same thing that I knew four years ago—someone out there wants me to be best, but simply won’t tell me how.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

The role of first lady is 100% unpaid labor. It looks to me like she was doing the bare minimum for a ‘job’ she didn’t want in the most graceless, alienating way possible.

Also, she’s a racist who can fuck all the way off.