Bad Teen President Is Sneaking Around on His Cell Phone Again

Illustration for article titled Bad Teen President Is Sneaking Around on His Cell Phone Again
Image: Getty
Barf BagWelcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

Can everybody please leave him ALONE????

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Trump is using his personal cell phone more, sources tell CNN, because this wild teen has got to be free. Using his own cell phone, though quite stupid from a security standpoint, allows him to circumvent Chief of Staff John Kelly and talk to whatever idiots he feels like talking to without oversight. Worth it! [CNN]
  • French President Emmanuel Macron is in town for a state visit and, presumably, several uncomfortably prolonged handshakes. [CBS]
  • In a break with tradition, no Democrats were invited to the state dinner. [Washington Post]
  • “Current and former officials told me that filling out a card is the best way to raise an issue with him in writing. Everything that needs to be conveyed to the President must be boiled down, the former staffer said, to ‘two or three points, with the syntactical complexity of ‘See Jane run.’’” [The New Yorker]
  • In a hearty flip flop, having received adequate media attention, Rand Paul has decided that he will, in fact, back Mike Pompeo, ensuring that Pompeo will be confirmed as our next Secretary of State. Love u Rand! [Politico]
  • Great news: there’s another Pence! [New York Times]
  • Cuomo’s parole move is a little more complicated than it’s been made out to be. [Injustice Today]
  • Scott Pruitt has declared wood burning to be carbon neutral, paying little mind to the fact that wood burning is not carbon neutral. [The Hill]

Here are some tweets the President was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.


Muqaddimah (call me Muck)

Apologies for going off-topic, but Canadian news and American politics just intersected in the most disgusting way.

TORONTO - Nine people were killed and 16 injured after a van ran down pedestrians along Yonge St. between Finch and Sheppard Aves. on Monday afternoon, Toronto police say. [Toronto Star]

Ted “Not the Time to Politicize this Tragedy” Cruz just couldn’t fucking help himself:

Sen. Ted Cruz used the Toronto event to urge his colleagues in the Senate to approve the nomination of a new secretary of state, which is being resisted by Democrats. “As we look at this attack in Toronto, we obviously don’t know the details yet, but it underscores what a dangerous world we’re in,” the Texas senator told Fox News.

I wish I had time to say more than “Fuck you, Ted. You craven fucking piece of shit”, but we’ve got shit to attend to up here.