Hard to believe we have to have this conversation, but here we are: GOP candidates, you must stop pledging to “spank” Hillary Clinton. You must stop suggesting voters should “spank” her. You must stop fantasizing about spanking her on the debate stage. Do you even realize how this makes you look? Surely you do.

The latest would-be spanker is New Jersey’s absentee Governor and flailing presidential candidate Chris Christie , who would like to both paddle Hillary’s rear end and subpoena her:

The last GOP candidate to express an interest in the former Secretary of State’s posterior was Ted Cruz, who told Iowa voters they should spank her via the ballot box.

The thing about metaphors, as our august Gawker colleage Ashley Feinberg pointed out at the time, is that there are a lot of them that have nothing to do with spanking. A whole universe out there of descriptive language for you to explore!


Chris Christie continues to do terribly in the polls, as his home state newspapers point out with a sort of quiet satisfaction.

Contact the author at anna.merlan@jezebel.com.
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Christie at a town hall in Epping, New Jersey, February 2, 2016. Photo via AP Images