Remember to pace yourselves, folks...it’s only Monday.
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- Monday marks Trump’s deadline for extending DACA, the Obama-era protections for more than 700,000 immigrants brought to the United States as children that he sought to end. “It’s March 5th and the Democrats are nowhere to be found on DACA. Gave them 6 months, they just don’t care. Where are they? We are ready to make a deal!” he tweeted. White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders called it “pathetic” that Congress had failed to come up a compromise. [Politico]
- First Republic, the bank Donald Trump’s lawyer, Michael Cohen, used to wire $130,000 to porn actor Stormy Daniels 12 days before the election, reportedly flagged the transaction as “suspicious.” Cohen, who used his own money, reportedly complained that Trump had yet to reimburse him for the payment, suggesting that Trump knew about the hush money. First Republic didn’t comment on the story, but Cohen has dismissed the report as, “Fake News,” which clearly settles the matter. [WSJ]
- Mississippi Republican Sen. Thad Cochran announced his resignation, effective April 1, adding to a long list of Republicans who’ve abruptly quit or opted to not run for reelection in the past year. [NBC News]
- ICE officials allegedly put 92 Somali immigrants in shackles, “with chains on their wrists, waists, and legs,” for 40 hours in December, while on an ICE-chartered deportation flight to Somalia; the Somali immigrants also reported being “forced to urinate in bottles or on themselves; and that ICE officers beat and threatened some passengers.” [The Intercept]
- The brave teens who survived the mass shooting in Parkland, Florida are meeting up with students in Chicago (and, specifically, communities of color) to organize for gun reform and awareness. [HuffPost]
- Two Democratic lawmakers in Colorado are wearing bullet proof vests to the Colorado House of Representatives over fear that Republican state Rep. Steve Lebsock will retaliate against them for speaking out against his alleged sexual misconduct. [NPR]
- Republicans in D.C. are having trouble getting laid, or something? [The Washingtonian]
Here are some tweets the President was allowed to publish:
This has been Barf Bag.