Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci appeared on CNN’s State of the Union with Jake Tapper on Sunday morning to discuss his new, highly improbable role as White House Communications Director, expounding on his relationship with the media and also what he would like to see Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders do with her hair and makeup.

“I think Sarah does a great job. She’s an incredibly warm person, she’s incredibly authentic,” he said, adding that he generously offered her “the big office” because that’s just the kind of guy he is. But in exchange for his kindness, Scaramucci does have one little request.

“For Sarah Huckabee, I want to do everything I can to make her better at that podium. I think she’s phenomenal there now. But like every athlete that is training for the Olympics, every day we have to make ourselves incrementally better,” Scaramucci said.

And how might Sarah make herself incrementally better? Scaramucci will tell her—and you, and everyone in the country.


“The only thing I ask Sarah—Sarah, if you’re watching, I loved the hair and makeup person we had on Friday, so I’d like to continue to use the hair and makeup person.” Well then.

It’s long been apparent that in Trump’s world (of which Moochy is firmly a part), women are only as good as their appearances. Women who are good include the First Lady of France, one very uncomfortable Irish reporter, and of course, his daughter. Women who are bad include Carly Fiorina, Hillary Clinton and Mika Brzezinski, among countless others. It’s not difficult to discern a pattern in who Trump considers worthwhile—and who he doesn’t.

Scaramucci quickly insisted in a tweet that he wasn’t referring to Sanders’ looks—he was referring to his own.


While it’s true that Scaramucci resembles a bulldog that underwent an ill-advised facelift, there’s just no way he was talking about himself. And if he was, that’s even worse! In that case, he’s suggesting that the only way in which Sanders could really shine at her job—a suggestion that warranted public discussion on a CNN broadcast—is to see to it that Scaramucci’s hair and makeup person stay on full-time? That as White House press secretary, Sanders’ most sacred responsibility should be to ensure that Scaramucci continue to look like a cheaply embalmed corpse during his TV appearances?

The other reason we know that Scaramucci was referring to Sanders’ hair and makeup is because she did look different on Friday than she has in the past. Here she is, absorbing the shock of her new role:


And here she is on Thursday, just one day earlier:


And on Wednesday:

Friday’s look involved a heavier styling hand, with Sanders’ previously straight hair curled into soft waves. Her once lightly-applied makeup has been given the Trump Treatment, with thick coats of bronzer and dark, dense smears of eyeshadow. In Trump Land, femininity is a woman’s chief virtue. And how is a woman supposed to look feminine without heaping gobs of makeup?


Scaramucci, though, looks more or less the same, minus a drastic change in skin tone. Here’s our boy back in January:

And here he is on Friday:


Looks like someone’s been given his Official White House Tanning Kit! I wonder if he got a fresh supply, or was saddled with Sean Spicer’s leftovers. After all, we can’t just keep buying new bronzing systems for every White House staffer that needs to be replaced. It would cost a fortune.

Images via AP.