Another Job for Ivanka

Illustration for article titled Another Job for Ivanka
Image: AP
Barf BagWelcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

It’s Tuesday, baby. Time to cry.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Ivanka Trump has another job! This time it’s—spins job wheel—helping to select the next head of the World Bank. Congratulations to Ivanka Trump. [New York Times]
  • Former Senator Claire McCaskill also has another job. This time it’s—spins job wheel—political analyst for NBC News and MSNBC. [Adweek]
  • Former governor and failed Republican presidential candidate John Kasich also got a spin on the job wheel! It landed on CNN, which is the job wheel whammy. Trombone noise. Despair! [CNN Business]
  • Teachers in Los Angeles are still on strike for you and the future of public education. [The Nation]
  • You can’t incarcerate your way out of a public health crisis, but Pennsylvania has decided to go ahead and try, anyway. [The Appeal]
  • A federal judge has ordered the Trump administration to remove its racist citizenship question from the 2020 Census. [Washington Post]
  • But that means the issue is probably going to the Supreme Court and its newly minted conservative majority. Trombone noise again? Despair? [Washington Post]
  • Voting laws in New York are slowly becoming less of a national disgrace. I guess we will just have to content ourselves with all the other ways we are still terrible. [Mother Jones]
  • A friend of Melania Trump’s was supposed to make a documentary about President Trump’s inauguration but the project was ultimately abandoned because life in incredibly unfair to the wealthy. [New York Times]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:


This has been Barf Bag.

Senior editor, Jezebel

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Mortal Dictata

Imagine you had a job, and that job was for two years to negotiate an agreement with a bloc of 27 nations who all have competing interests while you lead a not entirely united but still cohesive Parliament.

Imagine you open your negotiations and destroy any goodwill by saying you’ll throw basic human dignity under the bus to look macho and hard, causing that bloc of 27 to unite to an unheard of degree.

Imagine you then decide to call an election during this negotiation lasting several weeks hoping for a landslide to increase that support only to annihilate it by turning on your own voters.

Imagine you then, as a minority government, refuse to build a cross-party consensus on the most consequential political decision the country has faced since Suez and Decolonisation but instead refuse to talk to anyone outside your own increasingly hostile party.

Imagine you spend the next year keeping people you know don’t like you and will only cause trouble in the Cabinet on the basis of “uniting the party” when the party has never been united on this issue in 40 years and act surprised when it all falls apart.

Imagine come two months before the deadline you know no one likes your two years in the making deal and despite that you won’t change it or try and gain support for it outside, saying no deal will destroy the country... before saying actually no deal isn’t too bad actually.

Imagine how embarrassing it must be to then lose on that issue 432-202, the biggest defeat a government has ever suffered, in front of an Opposition known for having an argument once a week, and having a Motion of No Confidence called against your government.

And then imagine, after all that, you think it’s best that you carry on and don’t resign...

I give you, the Prime Minister...

God Save The Queen, because she’s the only bloody sane one left.