And Here We Have Ryan Zinke's Goodbye Letter Written in Red Marker

Illustration for article titled And Here We Have Ryan Zinkes Goodbye Letter Written in Red Marker
Screenshot: Twitter/@SecretaryZinke

Wednesday is Ryan Zinke’s last day as Secretary of the Interior and pretend geologist, and apparently the only writing instrument left in his office was a red Sharpie. It’s the only way to explain why Zinke, hater of doors and tribal lands, wrote a goodbye letter that looks like this:


Can anyone read that? I cannot fucking read it.

Whatever. Bye, bitch!!!!!!

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

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“It has been a high hoagie to serve the Presidul and the Ammmumm Joseph as @ satan secretag. We hum reitare am publum lards ‘lmm the honobob ad anjgnal ob te poople ; severed poble amms, and stool mmmm he hold halga agoon to on onagg needs. God Dless Ammumm ad thee wb delad hops.”

Someone should call up the writers of that Nicolas Cage movie about secret Illuminati treasure maps hidden in coded letters, because we definitely need a codebreaker for this.

What in the actual fuck.

Professionalism, whats that?