Do you feel that worried clenching in your stomach? That is freedom!
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- The absolute shit-show of an Obamacare replacement bill House Republicans are pushing through Congress has, unfortunately for them, finally been assessed by the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office, and results are grim: the CBO estimated that 24 million people would lose their health insurance over 10 years under the so-called “American Health Care Act,” and 14 million by 2018. Rather than distancing themselves from the struggling bill, which is wildly unpopular among moderate Republicans, hard-line conservatives, conservative think tanks, the AARP, the American Hospital Association, etc.—and would in fact screw over Trump’s exact base—the White House appears to be (of course!) systematically discrediting the CBO itself. [New York Times]
- The White House is reportedly looking to cut billions of funding for United Nations programs, amounting to over half of U.S. contributions. Cuts would include peacekeeping missions and nuclear weapons monitoring in North Korea. Yep. [Foreign Policy]
- Guess who’s going to Mar-a-Lago again this weekend? [The Hill]
- Searches of cell phones by border agents have “exploded”—five thousand devices were searched in February alone, which is more than in all of 2015. [NBC]
- In a nod to genocidal tantrum-throwers throughout history, Trump is expected to lay a wreath on Andrew Jackson’s grave. [Yahoo]
- A top Trump administration advisor told the Washington Post that German Prime Minister Angela Merkel, a center-right politician, is a “typical liberal woman.” This person also told the Post that Trump ribbed Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau that Trudeau is “even better looking than he is.” [Washington Post]
- Wait, a good thing: here are 37 Irish politicians’ thoughts on Beyoncé. [The Daily Edge]
Here are some tweets that the president was allowed to publish:
This has been Barf Bag.