Please Read This Incredible Op-Ed Full of Sentences by Susan Collins

Illustration for article titled Please Read This Incredible Op-Ed Full of Sentences by Susan Collins
Image: Scott Eisen (Getty Images)
Barf BagWelcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

It appears the House is barreling once again towards impeaching Donald Trump, this time for inciting last Wednesday’s insurrection and attempted coup—as Politico noted, the article of impeachment introduced by Democrats on Monday already has 218 cosponsors, “meeting the majority needed in the House.” Some Republicans are weighing whether to sign onto the effort, which may be the first time they will ever agree with Hillary Clinton, who on Monday wrote in an op-ed that “removing Trump from office is essential, and I believe he should be impeached,” and that “members of Congress who joined him in subverting our democracy should resign.”

But what, you may be asking yourself, does Maine Senator Susan Collins think? Helpfully for us, she has also written an op-ed, in the Bangor Daily News, and it is full of sentences.

Her “first thought” on a day when thousands of angry Trump supporters were gathered in Washington D.C. and had clearly stated their intentions to storm the U.S. Capitol in advance of their arrival:

My first thought was that the Iranians had followed through on their threat to strike the Capitol, but a police officer took over the podium and explained that violent demonstrators had breached the entire perimeter of the Capitol and were inside.

Advertisement

An attempt at levity:

Finally, we were ushered out of the chamber and taken through the tunnels under the Capitol, with the police urging us to “hurry, hurry!” (Unfortunately, I had chosen to wear high heels that day so it was hard to run.)

An incredibly important detail that until now has been unreported:

We were brought some salads, sandwiches and water, but no one was allowed to leave.

Advertisement

When she can’t decide if she’s more worried about finding a parking spot late at night or about violent extremists attempting to possibly execute her:

The rest of the night I spent at Murkowski’s home because I was worried about finding a parking space that late and about the violent extremists knowing where I live, given the threats and security problems I have encountered during the past two years. The police drove us to Murkowski’s home, where her husband had built us a nice fire and had glasses of wine awaiting us.

Advertisement

What she doesn’t share in her op-ed, which is so tonally strange that I absolutely believe she wrote it herself? Her thoughts on impeachment. Though if I were to take a guess, I’m sure she believes “that the President has learned from this case” and that he “will be much more cautious in the future.


“A vial of injectable testosterone.” More from the Associated Press, which did a deep dive into some of the fervent Trump supporters who have been arrested for their role in last week’s coup:

Also facing federal charges is Cleveland Gover Meredith Jr., a Georgia man who in the wake of the election had protested outside the home of Republican Gov. Brian Kemp, whom Trump had publicly blamed for his loss in the state. Meredith drove to Washington last week for the “Save America” rally but arrived late because of a problem with the lights on his trailer, according to court filings that include expletive-laden texts.

“Headed to DC with a (s—-) ton of 5.56 armor-piercing ammo,” he texted friends and relatives on Jan. 6, adding a purple devil emoji, according to court filings. The following day, he texted to the group: “Thinking about heading over to Pelosi (C——’s) speech and putting a bullet in her noggin on Live TV.” He once again added a purple devil emoji, and wrote he might hit her with his truck instead. “I’m gonna run that (C—-) Pelosi over while she chews on her gums. … Dead (B——) Walking. I predict that within 12 days, many in our country will die.”

Meredith, who is white, then texted a photo of himself in blackface. “I’m gonna walk around DC FKG with people by yelling ‘Allahu ak Bar’ randomly.”

A participant in the text exchange provided screenshots to the FBI, who tracked Meredith to a Holiday Inn a short walk from the Capitol. They found a compact Tavor X95 assault rifle, a 9mm Glock 19 handgun and about 100 rounds of ammunition, according to court filings. The agents also seized a stash of THC edibles and a vial of injectable testosterone.

Meredith is charged with transmitting a threat, as well as felony counts for possession of firearms and ammunition.

Advertisement

  • The FBI warned in a memo that “armed protests are being planned at all 50 state capitols from 16 January through at least 20 January, and at the U.S. Capitol from 17 January through 20 January.” Can’t wait to do this all again next week! [Politico]
  • Mike Pence and Donald Trump are no longer on speaking terms. [Reuters]
  • This tracks.
Advertisement
  • As if having to hide from a band of counterrevolutionary rioters wasn’t enough, New Jersey Representative Bonnie Coleman now has tested positive for covid-19, and she believes she was exposed to the virus with her (Republican) colleagues with whom she sheltered in place on Wednesday, and who refused to wear masks. [CNN]
  • A mad State Department employee “changed the biographies of President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence to say their term was coming to an end on Monday,” which fooled no one but dummies on Twitter dot com. [BuzzFeed News]
  • Mark Levin and Dan Bongino have been told by their bosses to shut up about election fraud. Too little too late, my friends! [Washington Post]
  • And now Rudy Giuliani may be thrown out of the New York State Bar Association, though as NPR notes, “he would still be able to practice law.” [NPR]
  • I would send a card that says “I’m very sorry for your loss,” but I’m not sorry! [Washington Post]
Advertisement

Senior reporter, Jezebel

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

burninginmynetherparts
BurningInMyNetherParts

The police drove us to Murkowski’s home, where her husband had built us a nice fire and had glasses of wine awaiting us.

Dear Penthouse ...