Baseball Man Comes Off the Fuck List

What the fuck is this and why?
What the fuck is this and why?
Image: Getty

On Monday, World Series Champions the Washington Nationals visited the White House to be lauded with praise and adulation by President Trump. One of these baseball players, Washington Nationals catcher Kurt Suzuki, wore a Make American Great Again hat, which resulted in this nightmarish grope situation:


I do not profess to know anything about the political leanings of an entire baseball team, but I do know that my loins react negatively to this sort of display. The shutters are lowered; I am closed for business.

Though I did declare that I would gladly sleep with an entire baseball team if only they would let me, I am amending my public desire thusly: Suzuki is off the fuck list, as are any other Nationals that attended this grotesque display of patriotism. The only members who can still catch it are those who abstained from these hideous proceedings, which included the third baseman Anthony Rendon (pretty hot), some outfield men (Michael A. Taylor, Victor Robles, and Wilmer Difo) and a trio of smart men who throw well (pitchers Joe Ross, Javy Guerra, and Wander Suero). Congratulations to these men remaining on the fuck list. Have a great off-season. We’ll see you next year.

Senior Writer, Jezebel


You forgot Sean Doolittle, who is the very best of the Nationals. Doo is the best. He had the guts to state publicly why he wasn’t going. And he and his wife walk the walk and talk the talk in community activism. They hosted Thanksgiving dinner for Syrian refugees and got the community involved, when he was with Oakland and they were doing their first LGBT event and the community lost its shit, he and his wife bought up 900-odd tickets and gave them to local LGBT groups. And they are super adorable and funny on twitter. Dooooooooooo