Sure Seems Like the President Just Admitted Melania Wouldn't Be Sad If He Died

Illustration for article titled Sure Seems Like the President Just Admitted Melania Wouldnt Be Sad If He Died
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If there’s a morsel of truth behind every joke, then President Trump just casually admitted that Melania wouldn’t cry if he died. At least he knows!

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During a Republican fundraiser held at his Washington hotel Tuesday night, Trump yucked it up for nearly an hour and did what he does best: complaining about politicians he doesn’t like (Nancy Pelosi, Mitt Romney) and bragging about things he had a minimal hand in (the raid on Islamic State leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi).

But Trump’s truest self came out when he took some time to roast a few of the Congressmen in the room. Politico reports that he called Representative John Joyce’s wife a “looker” and called the admittedly-not-so-tall Representative Chuck Fleischmann “lil’ guy,” and a slew of other weird shit. But nothing can beat the comment he made about Representative Steve Scalise, who was shot in 2017 during baseball practice with the congressional baseball team.

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From Politico (emphasis ours):

The president reflected on the shooting of House Minority Whip Steve Scalise a few years ago and remarked how tough the Louisiana Republican is – and Trump quipped he wouldn’t recommend getting shot as a weight loss plan. Trump also said Scalise’s wife “cried her eyes out when I met her at the hospital that fateful day … I mean not many wives would react that way to tragedy, I know mine wouldn’t.”

Aside from the fact that this is a very fucking weird joke that further indicates how basic emotion eludes Trump, it is also, perhaps, getting a little too real here. What happened to the couple who makes out at the dinner table? Glory days are gone, folks!

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

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DISCUSSION

I don’t think one single person would be sad if he died. Melania would just go spend money.

The kids would probably be overjoyed to manage the businesses in his name but without his terrible, narcissistic influence. (It wouldn’t necessarily work out for them since they’re all narcissists themselves, but it would be one less cook in the kitchen.)

Republicans holding office or in the administration would give a great big sigh of relief to only deal with the more predictable and hard line Pence.

MAGA chuds would be sad for a second but they’d fall in line behind Pence. He doesn’t have the personality but he will totally keep the dog whistles going, which is all that matters. Evangelicals would love Pence.

Fox News anchors would be relieved of having to worry about Presidential twitter backlash.

The sane ones among us would dance on his grave.

I hope he realizes this before he does die.