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Barf BagWelcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.  

Is it still Mueller Time? Why does Attorney General William Barr look like the human equivalent of a pug? Is it wine o’clock? Is it Crime Time? Am I drinking a Diet Dr. Pepper? What is time really?

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • It may not be Crime Time (yet), though Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report is not quite so friendly to Donald Trump as Attorney General William Barr wanted us believe. [New York Times/HuffPost/Mother Jones]
  • The House Judiciary Committee now wants Mueller to testify. “We clearly can’t believe what Attorney General Barr tells us,” said Representative Jerrold Nadler, adding that the Mueller report includes “disturbing evidence that President Trump engaged in obstruction of justice and other misconduct.” Nadler also announced that he will subpoena a less redacted version of the report. [CNN/Mother Jones]

  • Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Rashida Tlaib, and other Democrats in the House still want to impeach the motherfucker.

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  • But top House Democrat Steny Hoyer is not on board.

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  • Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen, who does not come off looking too smart in the Mueller report, is still willing to spill all the tea.

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  • In other news, students, alumni, and professors at Taylor University, a Christian evangelical college in Indiana, are not happy that Vice President Mike Pence was invited to speak at this year’s commencement ceremony. [Washington Post]
  • And now the Department of Housing and Urban Development is trying to kick undocumented immigrants out of public housing, an idea that surely sprang from Stephen Miller’s pea brain. [New York Times]
  • Joe Biden, you too can be like Terry McAuliffe. I believe in you. [Politico]
  • Kamala Harris says she now regrets the anti-truancy law she championed while the attorney general of California, and that she never intended it to criminalize parents despite the law explicitly criminalizing parents. Oops! [Washington Post]
  • Beto still trying to be punk. [Dallas Morning News]
  • Cory Booker continues to talk very normally about his relationship with Rosario Dawson.

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Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

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This has been Barf Bag.