Democratic Sen. Maria Cantwell asked Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke a very reasonable question on Tuesday while Zinke testified before a Senate committee on the White House’s proposed budget cuts and park entry fee hikes during peak season. How, Cantwell asked, could Zinke justify increasing fees when he had recently taken a $12,375 private jet to his home in Montana?

Here was Zinke’s somewhat less reasonable response—more of a koan, really—from the Associated Press:

“Well, first, insults and innuendos are misleading. I never took a private jet anywhere,” Zinke said, adding that all three flights he had taken on private planes as secretary were on aircraft driven by propellers, not jet engines.

Zinke also referenced a report last week by The Associated Press that the Interior Department is spending nearly $139,000 to upgrade three sets of double doors in his private office at the agency’s headquarters.

“I resent the fact of your insults, I resent the fact they’re misleading, I resent the fact of the doors,” Zinke said to Cantwell, the tone of his voice growing sharp. “And I’ll go through line by line. ... To allege that it’s a private jet is inappropriate, ma’am.”

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

I resent the fact of the doors.

Henceforth, let it be known that Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke resents the fact of the doors.

## DISCUSSION

That is fucking funny. “They weren’t jets, they were propeller planes!” Oh, okay, everything’s cool. It was totally reasonable to blow tens of thousands of dollars of taxpayer money on flights, as long as those flights were on propeller driven planes! Anyway, since this is Zinke, I assume he resents doors because they allow his subordinates to just come up and enter his presence.