Look At This Dumbass

Texas tea party Rep. Blake Farenthold (R), who represents an area that is directly in the path of Hurricane Harvey—and was also, unrelatedly, recently called “so unattractive it’s unbelievable” by Sen. Susan Collins, whom he offered to duel—just gave an interview on live television to discuss his district’s preparedness for what is expected to become a “life-threatening” Category 3 hurricane. Farenthold did not make a particularly convincing case, as he did not even seem to have an umbrella on hand.


“We’ve worked really hard to get ready here in Corpus Christi. The houses are boarded, people in low-lying areas are evacuated—now we’ve just gotta hunker down and see what happens,” Farenthold said, swirling tendrils of drenched combover clinging to his forehead.


Farenthold isn’t necessarily the first guy you’d want on the front lines of this thing—he has called climate change a “scare tactic used by groups with a political agenda,” though it’s brought warmer air, warmer water and sea level rise to his state, all factors that could intensify the storm currently dumping buckets onto Farenthold’s unprotected head.

“You need to heed evacuation orders, there’s no doubt about that. But we Texans are resilient, and we’ll help our neighbors out,” he predicted, also noting that “I’ve got a friend down the street who’s got a full-power generator for his house.”

Good for you, man.

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.


The Noble Renard

This is a man who always is prepared for whatever emergency is at hand.... with the exception of fashion emergencies.

Or the emergency of the existence of an adult Albert E. Neuman who’s sexist, racist (I mean I have no evidence of that specifically but we all know it’s true), and worst of all, has some actual fucking power.