Ted Cruz, a bigot and a troll pandering to the worst impulses of the Republican party, has broken. Heā€™s broke now. A sandwich did it.

The cause of Ted Cruz just utterly crapping out appears to have been this sandwich, served to him at Shapiroā€™s Delicatessen in Indianapolis on Thursday. Look at him: frozen in the glare of a thousand clicking iPhones and cameras, the plate clenched tight in his hands. His head aches like an iron band is stretched across his forehead; his mouth feel rubbery as he forces it into a smile. Beads of sweat form on his upper lip and lower back, dripping perilously into his aspirationally presidential butt crack. The pastrami wilts; the pickle sags. Heā€™s wearing a fucking Fitbit, like a nerd.

Itā€™s not clear why a pastrami sandwich broke Ted Cruz, but here we are.


Photo via AP