The Department of Homeland Security has not yet assigned a Secret Service security detail to your next president and ruler for life, Donald Trump. Big mistake. Yooge. Because Trump will complain about it for several weeks to anyone in earshot before submitting the request in writing he actually needs to submit to get a detail assigned to him.

Trump marched right to the media to complain about his egregious lack of taxpayer-funded security, telling the Hill that his private security officers have talked to the Secret Service about backing them up, but haven’t gotten a response yet.

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“I want to put them on notice because they should have a liability,” he said. “Personally, I think if Obama were doing as well as me he would’ve had Secret Service [earlier]. I have by far the biggest crowds.” Later, he clarified, “jokingly,” according to the Hill: “They’re in no rush because I’m a Republican. They don’t give a shit.”

Then-Senator Obama was placed under Secret Service protection in May 2007, with about a year and a half left in the race. DHS declined to comment at the time about whether it was in response to a specific threat, but as the New York Times noted, the only other candidate who’d gotten Secret Service that early was Rev. Jesse Jackson in 1984 and 1988. So it is perhaps not that hard to guess what kind of threats those might’ve been.

A DHS spokeswoman told CNN that Trump—or any other candidate— has to make an official request in writing to the agency for security. It’s reviewed by the Secretary of Homeland Security, who runs it by a “congressional advisory committee” that includes the Speaker of the House (whoever that might be), the House Minority Leader, the Senate Majority Leader, the Senate Minority Leader, and one other person.

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In a gentle tongue-bath of an interview this morning with Trump’s son Eric, Fox & Friends host Elisabeth Hasselbeck agreed it’s outrageous that Trump isn’t getting his own men with guns:

“Why haven’t they given him the protection that I’m hearing from you that he deserves?” Hasselbeck asked.

“I think that’s a great question for them,” Younger Trump replied.

There’s also the fact that the Secret Service is reportedly deeply underfunded and stretched extremely thin, in large part because more and more yahoos run for president every year and the campaign season starts earlier than ever. DHS said in a December report that the agency is “stretched to, and in many cases beyond, its limits.”


Contact the author at anna.merlan@jezebel.com.
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Trump at a rally in Las Vegas, October 8, 2015. Photo via AP Images