Welcome to Big Time Small-Time Dicks, a regular column on The Slot that explores local politicians, small-town scandals, and everything else making life miserable on a local level. Know a small time person who is a big time dick we should feature? Email us.

South Carolina State Representative Christopher A. Corley is still smarting over his legislature’s decision to remove the Confederate flag that flew on state capitol grounds. He expressed his feelings the way your passive-aggressive mother-in-law might, with a Christmas card featuring his departed loved one.

Corley, as you may recall, was so excessively chapped about the Confederate flag removal that he proposed replacing it with a “white flag of surrender,” and, if that wasn’t quite enough, waved a tiny white flag while standing upon the House floor. He seethed for a good few months, and now he’s back: as Fits News was first to report, Corley went ahead and sent out a Christmas card featuring a photo of said Confederate flag to his fellow Republicans inscribed with a super cheery missive about the reason for the season: feeling bad about taking down that flag. It reads:

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May your Christmas be filled with memories of a happier time, when South Carolina’s leaders possessed morals, convictions, and the principles to stand for what is right.

How fortunate each and every one of us are that our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ chose to be born into this miserable world. His sacrifice was difficult, but the best decisions are not always the easiest ones.

May you have a blessed and happy Christmas, and may you take this joyous time as an opportunity to ask forgiveness of all your sins, such as betrayal.

On the back, just for the sake of levity, the card also featured a quote from Dante’s Inferno about the ninth circle of Hell, the one meant for traitors: “This is Cocytus, the ninth circle, the fourth and last great water of Hell, and here, fixed in the ice, each according to his guilt, are punished sinners guilty of treachery against those to whom they were bound by special ties.”

My goodness. After a moderate backlash from his colleagues, the AP reports, Corley said it was all a funny joke: “If somebody’s feelings are legitimately hurt about that Christmas card, I think that might speak more to their conscience than the content of the card.”

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The Jews have long said that we have the market cornered on guilt trips. After today, though, I think we may just have to hang up our tiny hats and admit when we’ve been bested.


Contact the author at anna.merlan@jezebel.com.
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Corley on the South Carolina House floor in July 2015, photo via AP Images. Big Time Small-Time Dicks logo by staff male Bobby Finger.