Image via AP Photo.

House Oversight Chairman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah), who is known to be extremely interested in his job when it involves the words “Benghazi” or “Clinton,” was recently profiled by The Atlantic’s McKay Coppins and boy, did it sure not humanize him!

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Chaffetz, Coppins notes, actually had quite a bit to gain from a Clinton presidency—years of politicized hearings, trumped up investigations, and smug Fox News appearances were within his grasp. Now, his job is to monitor a Republican administration that appears to be modeling itself on the slogan “Berlusconi, But Way, Way Worse” and probin’ is pretty tough, all of a sudden!

There are several terrible quotes in this article that made me want to hoist half my body out the window and howl into the rain. Here are some sentences that made me want to scream, ranked in order of medium scream to very loud scream:

5.

“Remember, the federal government is 2-plus million people. We can’t investigate everything all the time.”

4.

“It’s not breaking news that Russia has engaged in espionage against our government, our elections, or corporate America,” he told me.

3.

“I can’t imagine what the world would look like if Hillary Clinton were the president right now. I mean—” he paused and searched for a way to adequately express his disgust at the thought, before settling on a guttural gagging sound. “Blech.”

2.

“Somebody’ll do something stupid at some point, and we’ll be all over it.” But, he added, “I think the people who voted for Donald Trump went into it with eyes wide open. Everybody knew he was rich, everybody knew he had lots of different entanglements … These other little intrigues about a wealthy family making money is a bit of a sideshow.”

1.

I asked Chaffetz if he was concerned about Trump reaping financial rewards from his presidency, but he just shrugged.

“He’s already rich,” Chaffetz said. “He’s very rich. I don’t think that he ran for this office to line his pockets even more. I just don’t see it like that.”

What about the recent New York Times story about Jared Kushner’s family exploring a $400 million deal with a Chinese company while he serves as a foreign policy adviser to the president—was that worthy of investigation?

“I don’t see how that affects the average American and their taxpayer dollars,” Chaffetz said. “Just the fact that a staff person’s family is making money? It’s not enough.”

It’s always weird to remember that Jason Chaffetz is 50 entire years old! Anyway, please share your own rankings below, so we can all scream together.