The first Democratic primary debate takes place on Tuesday and by the way, did you know that three other people who aren’t Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are running?

Following the Titanic of debates that was the group of GOP candidates discussing nonsense for two hours, CNN is hoping to spice up Tuesday’s Democratic gathering, which thus far seems like it will be a group of practical old white people talking sensibly about things. CNN knows that the only thing that can save the debate, (ratings-wise) is a visit from Uncle Joe Biden, who definitely has not even announced that he’s running for president yet.

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But CNN is not taking ANY chances. They have an extra podium on deck just in case Old Joe decides to show up, flash those pearly whites and make some inappropriate but dammit you gotta love him jokes.

And oh, OH, it’s not just any podium, but as the Huffington Post puts it, an EMERGENCY PODIUM.

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If we’re going to go around referring to this thing as an EMERGENCY PODIUM, it better be able to appear from underneath the floor or descend from the ceiling or somehow literally apparate live on stage for dramatic effect.

It is about the ratings, after all.


Contact the author at kara.brown@jezebel.com .

Image via Getty.