Have you heard? In the same way the incoming president of SAE might poll his fellow frat members on what beer they should stock in the house kitchen, President-Elect Trump has been sending around a survey to his mailing list so they can “step up and play an active role in fixing our country and enacting our platform for America.”
Oddly, it seems like a lot of people who might want to take this survey were left out—here, I’ll read it for you:
The election may be over, but our work is just getting started.
In 58 days, we begin our mission to Make America Great Again!
As I’ve said so many times before, I will not be able to do it alone. I’ll need you to step up and play an active role in fixing our country and enacting our platform for America.
“Actions” on the table include things like “Cancel billions of dollars in payments to U.N. climate change programs, and use that money to fix our own country,” “Repeal and replace Obamacare,” and, thrillingly, “Introduce plan to defeat ISIS.”
Frustratingly, you cannot signal that you are against any of Trump’s proposals. You can only indicate that you do not think it’s “important” to, say, “Appoint a strong constitutionalist to the Supreme Court in the mold of the late Justice Antonin Scalia.”
Now, listen: I can’t promise you that the link above won’t produce a barrage of shady pop-ups that force you to close your browser—that’s what happened to me! We also can’t say for sure what, if anything, Trump will do with these results. It seems likely he will point to them in an effort to pretend he has viable support for his nightmarish policy proposals, although it’s also worth noting that once you finish the survey, you are redirected to a donation page (“We count on the generous contributions of our supporters to help us fight back against the attacks and get our message straight to the American people”).
I think you should take it, though. Take the damn survey. Actually, thanks to whatever incompetent doofus constructed it, you can take this survey as many times as you want! Why not?