Tonight, at the very rude time of 9 pm EST, Fox Business Network will take a break from its regular schedule of airing problems that appeal to 83-year-old gold hoarders and will instead air a debate between eight people who all think they’re auditioning to be a Fox Business News pundit. It’s the 783rd Republican debate, and we’re still an entire goddamn year away from the actual election.

Pour yourself several glasses of your most potent potables, put on your indoor pants, and join a motley crew of Jezebel staffers as we work through it together. Laugh track not included.


Contact the author at erin@jezebel.com.