At a truly unholy hour this morning, your author, along with Gawker news editor Gabrielle Bluestone, traveled from our respective homes in Godless Sodmiteooklyn to National Harbor, Maryland, an eerily empty “waterfront destination” just outside D.C. We joined a few thousand edgy Republicans at the Gaylord National Resort, where they’re attending the Conservational Political Action Conference and having quiet nervous elevator breakdowns about Donald Trump. And what better way to break the tension than yet another debate, prominently featuring Donald Trump?

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Tonight, we join you live from the Potomac Ballroom up in the Gaylord, where we’re watching the debate on a very large TV screen with our fellow CPAC-goers. (The debate itself is happening in Detroit; we’re not actually in a room with the debaters themselves. Not until tomorrow, she typed, through a sudden blur of tears.)

Enjoy! Discuss! Debate whether the Obama bobblehead we collected today from a swag booth is really racist, just mildly offensive, or, in Internet commenter-speak, You would’ve been fine with it if we did it to Bush! And most of all, pray for us, because we are very tired, exceedingly grouchy, and probably shouldn’t have publishing privileges right now.

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Contact the author at anna.merlan@jezebel.com.
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CPAC souvenirs collected Thursday at various swag booths.