Kellyanne Conway Has an Incredible Feminist Thought Experiment for You

Last night on the president’s favorite television program, his third favorite mouthpiece, Kellyanne Conway, presented an argument about the White House Correspondent’s dinner fracas that, for a brief moment, made me fall slack-jawed as my soul tried to leave my body.

Appearing on Hannity to present her thoughts on the White House Correspondent’s Dinner and Michelle Wolf’s remarks about Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Conway employed her special brand of logorrhea, speaking bullshit at a pace and timbre that is almost soothing.

As the segment about the news of the weekend comes to a close, right before Sean Hannity told her that she was running out of time, Conway offered the following feminist thought experiment:

When the president of the White House Correspondent’s Association stood up and said “An attack on one journalist is an attack on all journalists,” well, folks, think about this: Is an attack on one woman, or two women, an attack on all women?

Well, folks. Listen to it once and you’ll be confused; listen to it twice, then a third time, and the veil of confusion grows ever heavier. Does feminism mean one woman is all women? Does feminism mean that Conway can’t be mad at Michelle Wolf? Does feminism mean that I am still hungry for breakfast? Are two women enough of a quorum to speak for all feminists? Is Kellyanne Conway doing similar math for her employer?