Just Like You, Congress Is Starting 2018 With a Pretty Full Plate of Important Decisions

I’m sure this has been said before in this space, but I sincerely wish the President and his tiny sausage fingers did not have access to Twitter.

• A rejuvenated, hydrated, and well-rested Congress will soon reconvene, ready to tackle a whole host of issues they left on the table in the dregs of 2017. These issues include avoiding a government shutdown, making sure that poor children don’t get fucked out of healthcare, and deciding whether or not to actually get rid of DACA. I’m sure everyone involved will make a decision that isn’t foolish and it will be a pleasant and easy time for one and all. [Washington Post]
• Speaking of vacations—President Trump loves going to Mar-a-Lago to play golf in his casual pants because he doesn’t have to think about his job. His staffers hate it because it makes their lives that much more of a living hell! [Washington Post]
• Sarah Huckabee Sanders told a reporter that all the time Trump spends on the links making putt-putt is for “developing deeper and better relationships with the members of Congress.” [NBC News]
• Utah senator Orrin Hatch is retiring early next year and Mitt Romney is considering making a run for his seat, which is perfect…just perfect!! [CNBC]
• Michelle Bachmann is “praying on” whether or not she should try for Al Franken’s Senate seat. [CBS]
• Trump’s pick for running the 2020 U.S. Census is Thomas Brunell, a registered Republican with no experience, who has served as an expert witness for redistricting cases, defended voting restrictions, supports racial gerrymandering, and believes that the census should not be an apolitical endeavor. [Mother Jones]
• Richard Jaffe, the lawyer for the disgraced former Alabama Senator candidate Roy Moore, is the “Jew” Kayla Moore referenced when telling reporters that “one of our attorneys is a Jew” as evidence that she and her husband are not anti-Semitic. Jaffe raised and donated money to Moore’s opponent, Senator-elect Doug Jones, and has been friends with him for 30 years. Jaffe once represented Moore’s son in a case involving some drug charges. That’s all. [The Hill]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish: