I'm Personally Fine and Not Worried Because Russia Successfully Penetrated an 'Exceptionally Small Number' of State Voter Rolls

Feels like it’s inappropriate to make a sex joke here.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Today in news that is somehow not resonating across the media landscape, a U.S. official announced that Russia in fact successfully hacked into—not just targeted—the voter registration rolls of several states prior to the 2016 election. Jeanette Manfra, head of cybersecurity at the Department of Homeland Security, said: “We saw a targeting of 21 states and an exceptionally small number of them were actually successfully penetrated.” Officials say that there is no evidence that any registration rolls were actually altered, but it kind of seems like any number of states’ voting systems that were accessed by a hostile foreign power is like, way too many! Maybe I’m just being crazy, though! [NBC]
• Here’s a video of Mike Pence being asked why he seems to be “out of the loop” on so many controversial White House goings-on. [Twitter]
• Today Amer Adi was deported to Jordan after living in the U.S. for 39 years. Adi has a wife and four daughters who are U.S. citizens, and owns several businesses in Youngstown, Ohio. [CNN]
• Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis has promised that military and veteran Dreamers will not be deported. “We would always stand by one of our people,” he said. Seems like one shouldn’t have to serve in the military to avoid being unjustly ripped from the only country you know, but here we are. [Politico]
• Speaking of inhumanity, the Trump administration is considering targeting immigrants who rely on public benefits. [Reuters]
• What, corruption at the Interior Department?! [The Hill]

Here are some tweets the President was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.