People attending the Republican National Convention are, by and large, as you would expect, not big fans of Hillary Clinton. That’s made clear from the convention stage, where she’s called a criminal and a liar and a disciple of Satan. On the street, trucks and t-shirts bearing the slogan “Hillary For Prison 2016" are everywhere.

But what about you? And by “you,” of course, I mean an average RNC attendee, one preferably looking to express your disapproval for the Democratic nominee in the most gendered possible terms. Fear not: the street vendors surrounding the convention have you covered.

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The streets surrounding the Quicken Loans Arena are clogged with vendors selling cut-rate RNC wares: “Make America Great Again” pins, Trump/Pence t-shirts minus the unfortunately proctological logo, an unintentionally chilling mock photo of Trump’s official presidential portrait, and an ocean of bedazzled visors bearing his name in every patriotic color, plus pink. The “Hot Chicks For Trump” swag is especially popular, one vendor told me.

But it seems impossible that any of the vendors are making any real money, because there are simply so many of them. Most of them are black, and they’re not interested in talking politics. “Work is work,” one guy told me. He was with his young son, selling visors that read “Make USA Great Again!!!”

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“I’m not interested in politics” another vendor told me, a young black woman. “Doesn’t make a difference to me.”

By contrast, the few vendors who are white are mostly voluble, middle-aged men who are happy to talk about their political views. Like this guy, who didn’t want to provide his name, any more than any of the other vendors, but was happy to talk about his wares.

“I don’t know about calling women bitches,” I told him cheerily, snapping the photo.

“This one it’s all right,” he reassured me. “She’s done more dirty than any normal woman.”

“OK!” I said, taking my leave.

“Sorry!” he shouted after me, in a segue I didn’t quite understand. “Done slammed my peter in the car door one too many times!”

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Some of the anti-Clinton merch focuses on Trump’s inevitable ascension to the White House, like this one, spotted by former Jezebel managing editor Erin Gloria Ryan:

And some of it merely makes it clear that she’s the Devil incarnate. This t-shirt was being worn around by one of a squad of guys from InfoWars.

Photo by Tod Seelie

This one’s been making the rounds for years and is enjoying an inevitable rebirth.

There’s also quite a bit that focuses on Bill Clinton’s extra-marital affairs, which are either Hillary’s fault or else simply turn her into a worthy object of mockery.

Photo by Andy Cush

There’s also this one, which is obviously meant to be insulting, although it’s a bit tough to say what the actual route to the insult is meant to be.

It’s almost as though having breasts is bad or shameful, and exposing them is the ultimate embarrassment, a moment when the Emperor, at last, is seen to have no clothes, and also titties.

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But surely all the satire is more sophisticated, complicated, and less nakedly woman-hating than that. Right?


Except where noted, images by Anna Merlan.