Photo: AP

The Washington Post published an intricate investigation into White House chief strategist Steve Bannon’s shady residential history on Saturday, from which one extremely bleak detail stands out in particular, an email sent to Bannon in February 2015 by one of his former Florida landlords that reads, in part, “[E]ntire Jacuzzi bathtub seems to have been covered in acid.”

Bannon’s reply was entirely too curt. “I’m out of town,” Bannon wrote, “is there any way u can talk with Diane and sort things out ???”

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The acid reportedly destroyed the tub and the property’s landlords estimated it caused $14,000 worth of damage. They did not return Bannon and ex-wife Diane Clohesy’s $9,800 security deposit.

No other details about the acid-drenched tub are provided by the Post reporters, leaving us all wondering what the fuck occurred. Some possible explanations:

  1. Bannon spilled his drink
  2. Someone called Ghostbusters
  3. Experimentation with early “Drain the Swamp” prototype
  4. Tax return stew
  5. Jacuzzi saw Bannon in a bathing suit and self-destructed
  6. The acid oozed from Bannon’s poisoned skin
  7. Sometimes Jacuzzis melt

What happened to that poor Jacuzzi? You tell me.

[via the Washington Post]