Chaffetz speaks on Thursday, Sept. 8, 2016, during the committee’s hearing on ‘Examining FOIA Compliance at the Department of State.’ Photo via AP

What are Republican leaders to do, faced with a suppository made of candy corn for a presidential candidate? Stick your fingers in your ears, hum loudly, wait to lose this thing, and eagerly look forward to the time when you can begin badgering President-elect Hillary Clinton with mountains of gleefully pointless Congressional hearings. Business as usual feels great!

Utah Republican Congressman Jason Chaffetz is chair of the House Oversight Committee, which spent last fall yelling at Planned Parenthood for a variety of non-existent crimes. Chaffetz tells the Washington Post he’s extremely excited to give Clinton the same treatment:

“It’s a target-rich environment,” said Chaffetz in a interview in Salt Lake City’s suburbs. “Even before we get to Day One, we’ve got two years worth of material already lined up. She has four years of history at the State Department, and it ain’t good.”

“Target-rich” is not the term I would use in this situation, considering that Donald Trump has suggested “Second Amendment people” should “do something” about Hillary Clinton. We might want to get away from gun metaphors of any kind, if we could. But failing that, I guess we can rub our hands together and tell a major newspaper about the years of time-wasting shit we have lined up. Here’s Paul Ryan, agreeing with Chaffetz that yes, this sounds really fun:

“The rigorous oversight conducted by House Republicans has already brought to light troubling developments in the Clinton email scandal,” House Speaker Paul Ryan said in a statement to the Washington Post. “The speaker supports [Oversight’s] investigative efforts following where the evidence leads, especially where it shows the need for changes in the law.”

Chaffetz dropped his support for Trump earlier this month, but also has clarified he doesn’t plan to vote for Hillary Clinton, the lady he plans to spend four to eight years terrorizing. Forget that the FBI has recommended no criminal charges against Clinton on her damn emails, and forget that the House keeps “investigating” Benghazi without finding any evidence she did anything wrong—we have a clusterfuck to create.