I am completely overwhelmed.

Mike Huckabee, Republican presidential candidate and Grand Poobah of Fearful Elders, is currently polling at a whopping average of 2.5% nationally in the GOP primary contest. When a campaign faces lean times like these, there’s really only one rational action: steal your neighbor Jim-Bob’s shaky camcorder so you can film a parody lyric video of Adele’s “Hello.”

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Huckabee, who was most recently found bragging about the highly improbable hypothetical scenario in which he would only call 911 during a burglary “to tell the sheriff where to come to pick up the carcass,” is seen in the above video talking on the phone and vogueing for the camera while a disembodied woman struggles valiantly to make lines like “Your Woodbury County Supper Club has quite a cute baby” and “There’s just no difference between Obama and Hillary” fit to Adele’s melody.

Other standout lyrics include but are not limited to:

“I got frostbite, gangrene” [close-up footage of Mike Huckabee’s squinted eyes]

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“If Bernie wins I’m gonna die” [footage of Mike Huckabee tapping his head on the side of a highway]

“This crazy circus has gone / Cuckoo-ca-choo” [footage of Ted Cruz]

“To say this / election / It’s all gone insane” [footage of Ted Cruz]

“Amish chairs Casey’s Jerky / Quad Cities has quite a port” [footage of Mike Huckabee closing his eyes]

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For some reason, Huck chose to include Adele’s original soft refrain, “I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done.” Apology not accepted!


Contact the author at ellie@jezebel.com.