Funny or Die began streaming a 50-minute parody biopic titled Donald Trump’s The Art Of The Deal: The Movie to coincide with Trump’s victory in New Hampshire.

The “made-for-TV” special, which includes an introduction from Ron Howard explaining that the movie, a VHS tape, was made in the 1980's and recently rediscovered, stars a completely unrecognizable Johnny Depp as Donald Trump and Michaela Watkins as his bride, Ivana. The cast also includes Jack McBrayer, Patton Oswalt, Alfred Molina, Henry Winkler, Andy Richter and Jacob Tremblay, and was directed by Jeremy Konner of Drunk History.

“Robert Durst called and said he put the ‘thing’ in the ‘thing,’ he said you know what he means,” a secretary tells Trump towards the beginning of the film. (You can watch it in its entirety here.)

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“I only drink women. Sexually,” Trump proclaims at another point, in a line that’s unsettlingly easy to picture him saying. “I don’t let my lips touch the glass, if you know what I mean.”

“I’m not sure that I do,” his conversational partner whimpers.

“The plan was to move really fast because we thought Trump would go away, as least as a presidential candidate,” Owen Burke, the site’s editor-in-chief, told the New York Times. “When he bizarrely didn’t go away, we had a little more time. But that meant keeping the secret for longer.” Adam McKay, a co-founder of the site and director of Oscar nominee The Big Short, told the Times that “with any luck,” the movie’s existence will annoy Trump.

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Let us hope.


Contact the author at ellie@jezebel.com.

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Image via screenshot.