Photo via AP

Donald Trump is touring the Boeing factory in South Carolina today, where he is (incorrectly) touting their airplanes as an example of a proud, Made in America product. He’s also strongly indicating he wants to fuck a plane. Please do not challenge me on this before we go to to the tape.

Advertisement

Trump indicated that the plane looks good for its age:

“As beautiful as it looks, it’s 30 years old, can you believe it?” Trump beamed. “What can look so beautiful at 30? An aeroplane.”

Advertisement

In fairness, nothing else could look beautiful at 30, an age so advanced it’s basically decompositional. Further advancing our theory of the president’s sexual interest in an airplane, here’s a snippet from the press pool report of his visit:

POTUS seemed impressed with the plane construction, making an open-mouthed gape expression at an unidentified man and privately remarking that “it takes 3 and a half days to put it together,” which a Boeing spokesman said refers to how long it takes to join all of the parts of the plane together.

Open-mouthed and agape at this leggy 30-year-old plane and all its parts, the president paused for a moment to stare deeply into its undercarriage.

Before he took his leave, the president was also able to climb right into the cockpit and settle into the velvety folds of its capacious seats.

It’s always tough to say goodbye to the one you love. It also gets weird when it’s a plane.