Image via AP.

Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

Has anyone else spent a ridiculous sum of money on anti-aging products because the passage of time is irrelevant? Just me? Okay.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • In a joint press conference today with President Juan Manuel Santos of Colombia, Donald Trump denied allegations of collusion between Russia and his campaign, curiously adding, “I can only speak for myself.” “There’s no collusion between—certainly—myself and my campaign but I can only speak for myself...and the Russians...zero,” Trump said in a tone that was both very reassuring and very convincing. “Believe me,” he added, “there’s no collusion. Russia is fine.” It’s fine. Everything is fine. [CNN]
  • Senator Lindsey Graham said today that the Russia probe “seems to me now to be considered a criminal investigation.” [The Hill]
  • According to a report, Michael Flynn did not want to take the job as National Security Adviser but Trump pressured him to take the job. The President, apparently, continues to pine for Flynn’s return and, according to one White House source, “feels really, really, really, bad about firing him, and he genuinely thinks if the investigation is over Flynn can come back.” [The Daily Beast]
  • Meanwhile, Mike Pence swears that he didn’t know anything about Flynn. [Talking Points Memo]
  • Speaking of Michael Flynn, he’s not talking to anyone. Senator Richard Burr (R-NC), told reporters that Flynn was not responding to the subpoena from the Senate Intelligence Committee. Burr later softened his language and said Flynn is “not cooperating,” adding that he has not yet received a “definitive” answer from Flynn’s lawyers. [The Hill]
  • Over in the James Comey-related scandals, Deputy AG Rod Rosenstein told the Senate that he knew Comey would be fired before he wrote his memo. [Washington Post]
  • After issuing a subpoena, Jason Chaffetz isn’t convinced that the Comey memos actually exist. [Talking Points Memo]
  • Doesn’t matter to Chaffetz anyway, he’s leaving the House at the end of June. [Business Insider]
  • Benghazi fanfic enthusiast Trey Gowdy will likely replace Chaffetz as chair the House Oversight Committee. [Politico]
  • Trump canceled a visit to Masada in Israel after he was told that he couldn’t land his helicopter on top of the ancient fortress. [Newsweek]
  • Trump will visit Saudi Arabia this weekend and so will Toby Keith. [Associated Press]
  • The House passed legislation today to make the killing of a police officer punishable by death. Forty-eight Democrats voted with Republicans. [The Hill]
  • The FCC started to dismantle net neutrality today. [The Verge]
  • Alas, poor Sean Spicer. We knew him, Jezebel readers, a fellow of red face, implausible denials. [Politico]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.