Trump, flanked by his wife Melania and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell of Ky., gives a thumbs-up while walking on Capitol Hill in Washington, Thursday, Nov. 10, 2016, after their meeting. Photo via AP

Like an infant struggling to change its own diaper, Donald Trump began to revert to form last night, tweeting sulkily about “professional protesters” who were “incited by the media” before realizing he has to fucking behave himself now. Let’s see how this went:

Image via Twitter.

Ahhh. There’s that classic Trump taste: petty, sulky, factually incorrect. It took a day! I’m surprised it took even a day!

Eight hours later, we saw the fitful, strangled birth of something we might called Statesman Trump, or Donald Trump: 20 Percent Nicer:

Image via Twitter.

Right. He has to point out the protests are “small” (they’re not), but, like your new stepdad insisting that you stop calling him “Frank,” asserts that we’re all going to unite under his steady Day-Glo hand.


Obviously you’re wondering, at this point, what the hell happens when Trump takes office. The White House released a “digital transition plan” last month, as Time reports, saying that the @POTUS Twitter account will be handed over to Trump after his inauguration. (President Obama’s existing tweets will be archived and deleted from the account.)

But, you know, how does the Secret Service and the White House social media team deal with Trump’s unique online behavior? Is he getting a stern lecture about behaving himself even as we speak? Is he being reminded he has the power to incite a nuclear war in 140 characters? Is someone going to fix this?

Like everything else right now, the answer is: take shelter under something sturdy, then wait and see. In the meantime, we have many more terrifying things to contemplate.