Man-sized sebaceous cyst Donald Trump appeared on Good Morning America Tuesday to promote his book, which is, hand to God, called Crippled America. He also made time to attack fellow presidential candidate Ben Carson for his lack of “experience.”

Trump, who you might also be surprised to learn has never held elected office, told George Stephanopoulous, “I think Ben just doesn’t have the experience. Look, you know, I’m going to make the greatest deals you’ve ever seen on trade. We’re going to run the military properly. I’m going to take care of the vets. Ben can’t do those things. Ben cannot deal on trade. It’s not his thing, George. You know? You’re born with it. It’s not his thing. He hasn’t got the temperment for it.”

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Trump added he’s also “not a fan” of Marco Rubio, who he called “totally overrated” and said “Putin would eat him alive.” And he added, accurately, we must admit, that the way Jeb Bush “delivers a message” is “so sad.”

He also added that he has “thousands of Hispanics working for me” who “love” him.

Trump also promised Crippled America will clear up a few crucial questions:

Trump also promised his wife Melania will be appearing on the campaign trail any day now, and that she’s “really looking forward to it.”

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Here’s the full interview, before it’s inevitably entered into the Smithsonian:


Contact the author at anna.merlan@jezebel.com.
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Screenshot via GMA/ABC