Donald 'I Am Not a Racist' Trump Ditches MLK Day Event for Golf 

Just days after calling Haiti and all of Africa “shithole countries” and saying he doesn’t want people from there in America, how exactly did our very racist president spend Martin Luther King Day? According to the Washington Post, he did not attend a memorial event honoring the civil rights leader. Instead, Trump hung out at his golf club in Palm Beach. The Post notes that this is how Trump has spent every Monday in a three-day holiday weekend during his presidency.

I guess he didn’t completely ignore MLK Day, though. The White House did the bare minimum by releasing Trump’s weekly address acknowledging King, about two hours after he hit the (golf) club. “Dr. King’s dream is our dream. It is the American Dream. It’s the promise stitched into the fabric of our nation, etched into the hearts of our people and written into the soul of humankind,” Trump said with the gravitas of a naked mole rat, before adding, “It is the dream of a world where people are judged by who they are, not how they look or where they come from.” Oh really…

Maybe I’m being too hard on Old Man Trump. After all, I can only begin to imagine how exhausting it must be to have to explain to the media that you’re not a racist, and that everyone who heard you say something racist was very wrong—he is not a racist and ipso facto couldn’t have said something racist. That’s how racism works, right?