In just two minutes, Bernie Sanders tells America: what the name of his Ben & Jerry’s flavor would be (“Burn Bernie Burn,” he says, misspeaking); if he’s ever been in handcuffs (“Yes,” he says, “though I don’t know exactly what you mean by that”); who’s got better hair, him or Trump (“That goes without saying”); who his favorite member of Wand Erection is (Harry, after the audience yells it); his go-to karaoke track (“Staying Alive”); and his preferred kind of underwear (briefs).

Bernie Sanders, want to go to karaoke and eat ice cream and then lecture me for two hours about the steady loss of theoretical rigidity in the American left? Great.


Contact the author at jia@jezebel.com.