You can’t run. You can’t hide. Every day, it gets closer, and one day, it will be here, bringing with it UNSEEN and UNSPEAKABLE horror!

Election Day 2016 is still 377 days away (isn’t that fucking insane?) but that doesn’t mean the faces and voices of candidates who may be President are ever more than a few seconds away from your ears and eyes. And tonight, they’ll take to the stage in Boulder, Colorado, for a ghoulish gathering of bad ideas that millions of people will watch. Including us.

Experience the thrill of Carly Fiorina creating facts out of thin air. The chill of imagining Ben Carson or Donald Trump with his finger on the button. Try not to scream as Ted Cruz speaks. Lock your doors, turn your lights on, and, at 8 p.m. EST, turn on CNBC and join us... if you dare!


Contact the author at erin@jezebel.com.

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Image via Woods Entertainment/Scream (1996)