If we’re being polite, it is inexplicable that Donald Trump—an ongoing Jezebel writing exercise that recently brought our reporter Anna Merlan to the lexical xenith of “superfood made of finely-ground clown wigs”—is a candidate so consistently favored by evangelical Christians. The ongoing connection between a three-times-married, formerly pro-choice paragon of arrogance and a fleet of people who believe that the earth is a few thousand years old is somehow, miraculously, a bad look for both Trump and the evangelicals—and this mismatch became particularly glaring at Liberty University today, a dubiously accredited creationist hellhole where, as a bare beginning, cursing is forbidden but notorious f-bomb-dropper Donald Trump was invited to give a speech about...something...and lightly shocked the student body by saying the word “hell.”

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Trump also said “Two Corinthians,” which essentially means he has never even once listened to anyone read the Bible, or else he would have known it is pronounced “second Corinthians.”

“Two Corinthians,” he said, as the crowd went silent. “Two Corinthians 3:17, that’s the whole ball game.” He continued, almost sarcastically, “Where the spirit of the Lord is—right?—there is liberty. And here, there is Liberty College, but—Liberty University, but—and it is so true!” He then goes on to openly dissociate.

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Good Christians: time to unite against Trump in favor of the person that well-known socialist Jesus Christ would have voted for! Feel the Bern!


Contact the author at jia@jezebel.com.